Communication – A New Perspective

Communication  –  Why is it so important?

I once heard about a man and a women who were getting ready to get divorced.  At the hearing the judge asked the husband, “are you sure you want to go forward with this?”   The man said “Yes”, we haven’t communicated in years and my wife is always complaining about me.  The wife immediately rose up and said, of course we haven’t communicated, you won’t put your cell phone down to hear my voice”.  Funny, but often true.   We’re often so distracted by the outside world that we don’t have time to listen or communicate to those right in our midst.   I’ve heard it was said that communication is an art and it must be developed like a singer must develops their voice.  The good news is that no one is an expert and we can all start learning to better communicate today.  

From the moment we get up each day each of us are sending a message to the world.  We’re communicating what we believe about ourselves and others and also what’s important to us.   We do this in a variety of ways;

1. We communicate who we are by the way we interact with one another, our loved ones, friends and co-workers, clients. At times we communicate kindly and in loving ways but at other times we can be critical and harsh or lose our temper.
2. We communicate who we are by the way we handle our day-to-day tasks or when problems or the unexpected happens. For ex, are we taking on new challenges with confidence or do we shy away from them or look for others to bail us out?   Do we accept responsibility for our part in the matter or try to pass the buck? In all these situations we’re communicating a profound message.
3. We communicate who we are in the way we fail to admit our own shortcoming or wrongdoing. Being accountable is a great way to grow and build trust within a team.     
4. We communicate who we are in the way we discipline ourselves in setting good routines.  Are we tracking our time well and prepared when we go into meetings.   
5. We communicate who we are when we show gratefulness to our employees or co-workers and seek to find the best in others.
6. We communicate who we are in the way we follow up on the promises we’ve made to ourselves and others
7. We communicate who we are in the way we spend our time and money. What is the character of the people you’ve made your close friends and look at the transactions in your checking account for the past 30 days. These areas speak volumes on what you consider important.  

As I said earlier, no one is perfect and we all fall short in one or more of these ways. Life is a continual process of refinement but if we want to improve our message to the world, we must continually make small changes in our behaviors in order to communicate to the world who we are and what we stand for. I’ve come to realize that life is a continual journey of growth, reflecting on my behavior and how I approached things in the past so I can improve in the future. If nothing changes today, nothing will be changed tomorrow.     

As you can see, communication is much more than talking and getting our opinions out.   It’s a way of life and listening to others is critical. Those who do it best will change the world.  Focus on constructive change and get away from behaviors which keep you from communicating effectively.  One last thing, past failures and fear can keep us from pursuing the things most important to us. Just because we may not have accomplished something in the past doesn’t mean it’s time will never come. Identify and prioritize one or two areas that you know where you improvement and begin the process today.   Growth won’t occur until we acknowledge we need change, decide what to change and make a plan on how to change.